Baseball on Valium

Baseball on Valium

That's how the Americans refer to cricket - atleast those who have seen Asian and British expats there play it. Many cricket writers have been obsessed with the American attitude to cricket and at the end of significant cricketing occasions, some invariably turn towards them to see if there is any improvement to the Yankee response to the game. It was quite noticeable after the Ashes (See Sub-story 1) when British writers and some American ones discussed increased American curiosity to the game.

Once a friend (surprised at the sub-continent's obsession with this game) suggested that I write about the game. Despite almost doing it a dozen times before, only now I am actually able to go ahead with it. It has less to do with my inability to wait for the South Africa-India series which is to begin in a couple of days. But more to do with me needing a break from the stupid stupid exams that are going on.

Things have been happening in the cricket world. The afore-mentioned Ashes cricket series, held in England, was so great this time around, many have dubbed it the 'greatest test series ever'. One has to concede though that these claims have largely been made by Brits who were quite honestly shocked to see their team beat the Australians 2-1! This was good news because after a long time, England - the home of the game - has a team that is good and is now ranked second in the world. Also, because it ended the domination of the Aussies who have quite frankly rolled over all before them in the last half-a-decade - Except the occasional counter-punch from an Indian team (See sub-story 2).

Australia is a still a very strong side as was shown by their drubbing of a 'Rest of the World' team of superstars in a hopeless tournament called the 'Super Series' which reaked of exhibitionism and money-making. Cricket also made news in the global circles for its philanthropy when it repeatedly organised matches to aid victims of the Asian tsunami, the Pakistani quake, etc. and did a good job of it!

When a Chinese Communist Party sports official saw the World Cup final in 1996 in Pakistan, where Sri Lanka beat the Australians, he took the news back home. The Chinese (the Communist Party that is) were thrilled to know about a game which though less athletic than most sports, was demanding of the intellectual faculties and some other subtler skills. They decided that it reminded them of war, something that they were good at since the times of Sun-Tzu. They were also thrilled to see that it was a game in which tiny countries like Sri Lanka and New Zealand could match large ones like India and Australia - it meant that it was something they could get good at quickly. Now the official word is that China wants to become an official World Cup level team by 2015.

India has recently drubbed Sri Lanka 6-1, after which many Indian supporters like me are sure that the team is invincible (a conclusion we come to every once in a while!). Despite all the increased hype - the International Cricket Council will soon have its 100th member in Jersey & Guerney - the game is small, restricted largely to the Commonwealth and survives largely because of nationalist sentiments (the game is played between countries not clubs), a nostalgia of the British Raj (and related romanticism) and the fact that it is the only game that the sports-crazy-but-lazy Indians continue to be near the top. That of course does not deny that it is a beautiful and classy game, mysterious and poetic at times.

Some History

Cricket has been an organised team game for centuries - the Economist claims the first-ever, but it is a British publication - played in England between counties. It was a popular weekend event where a team of 'Gentlemen' would play a team of 'Players', whilst English dames would be served tea by their maids as they gossip. From such a snobbish origin, it is ironic that this game has its largest support among the poorest in India and Pakistan.

The Pilgrims did take it with him to the New World. In fact, the first ever international cricket match was held between USA and Canada (two insignificant teams in today's cricketing order) and has since been continued every year and is the longest running sporting event (if u concede that the Olympics did not continue straight from the days of Aristotle!). But, American consumerism, the rise of the common man, and the ridiculously long lengths of cricket matches turned the Americans away from the game.

It is ironic however that golf - another elitist sport - thrived quite well in the US. Probably because for the rich elites of America, it was less taxing a game and was a good opportunity to fine-tune business deals. Anyway, cricket lost out first to baseball (average length - 3 hours) - a game of mad hitting that was spun off from 'rounders' which inturn was spun off from 'cricket'. Then the American quest for excellence moved their interests to American football (involving brutal savagery - spun off from British 'rugby') and Basketball (which I have to concede is arguably the most athletic and complete sport).

Cricket of course survived and thrived in Australia. In fact, once cricket was merely Australia versus England. Then the colonies showed interest. As suggested by many experts on the subject and the Oscar nominated Hindi movie 'Lagaan' (meaning Tax), it started when the subjects of the crown were challenged by the Company officials in return for tax breaks to a game of cricket. Cricket became a symbol of the elitist opposition (we wont fight you, but we will make you get the fuck out of here!) in India to the British rule.

It was also a big hit in the Caribbean. It remained a white-man's game in Southern and Eastern Africa for a long time. But, it never caught on outside the Common-wealth excepting the occasional Russian student in Oxford who paid his fees by playing cricket and then sold his loyalties to promoting the game in Russia. Or the curious Dutch who have interest groups for every damn thing.

Cricket then added the Calypso cricketers of the West Indies (a curious mix of a dozen modern Caribbean countries) who shocked the cricketing world by dominating it till the late 80s effortlessly. It is of course sad that the West Indies suck at the game today because they were wont to introduce the professionalism of modern sport in their structures and the kids there started leaning towards soccer. It is however hoped that a $ 35 million tournament sponsored by a Texas businessman and the World Cup there in 2007 will get them back on track.

The oddities

How long is this game?

An over-eager reporter asked an Olympics official in a Lausanne press conference if there was any plan to include cricket in the Olympics. “Nope. It is an idio-syncratic game that lasts for 3 to 4 days and has no place in the Olympics." This shows that the lady was caught off guard, but she does make a point. Non-cricketing public never seem to know even how long the game is! The original game or the 'Test Match' is a few days long - the modern version is 5 days long. The game can of course get over within a day or two (like when under-strength Zimbabwe meets a super-strong Australia). There are modified versions that last only 3 or 4 days.

The popular 'One Day Internationals' are about 8-9 hours long. Whilst the new baby 'The Twenty20' is about 4 hours. There are myriad other varieties like the beach cricket of Jamaica, tape-ball in Pakistan, street cricket in India, Super Sixes, Max Eights, etc etc which have different lengths too. The general agreement though is the game is too slow! But that is a problem only because you are trying to sell it as an alternative to the soccer and basketball fan. It is not quite the same type of game.

Weird clothing, Funny terms, and the all-too-polite behaviour

Canada won a match in the 2003 World Cup. The Canadian press, suddenly aware of the fact that their country was in that World Cup, started talking about the 'pyjama' game. Yes! Cricketers look like they are in pyjamas! White ones for Test matches and brightly coloured, labelled and numbered ones for One Day Internationals! The batsmen also have to wear protective clothing that makes them look like a cartoon hen - pads for the legs, helmets, thigh guards, gloves, and some other optional stuff.

That is less likely to shock an accidental spectator as much as the language used by commentators and fans. It has been argued (there are literature papers I hear) that English evolved separately and significantly as a consequence of cricket appreciation. In fact, the most popular use of English in Indian households is when they discuss cricket. Slips, bails, wides, gullies, mid-ons, silly mid-offs, wickets, third men, boundaries, pavilion, square, no-ball, pull, sweep, swing, sitter - It does sound weird. There are vulgar Australian additions like googly and sledging whereas some poeticised terms like 'perfume-ball' or 'body-line'.

In a time when sport is considered a healthy alternative to war, cricket is the 'Gentleman's game'. You could be warned, fined or abused in the media (in typical cricket polity) for shaking your head at an umpire's decision. You have numerous occasions during the course of a game, when your opposition claps for you, appreciates you and even taps you on the back for playing well. Most people after winning a game are caught talking about their good fortune, the difficulties the opposition faced and explaining why their fans should not be hard on them, and stuff like that.

The only thing out-of-tune with all this is the rude hand signals that umpires use to convey things which if you know the game is not all that rude.

The Draw

If these are not enough to make people think this is a crazy sport, there is the concept of a 'draw' in test matches - neither side wins nor loses. People can play the bloody game for 5 long days, from morning to evening, and there need be nobody who can go back home and say I won. How like life!

But, all cricket writers get outraged at the suggestion that this is ridiculous. In fact, the second best match of the year between England and Australia, in Old Trafford, Manchester was a draw! It was pretty entertaining and down to the wire. In fact, Jeffrey Archer, a cricket lover, in one of his short stories decides that the best way to end his story is to allow the rain god to interfere and make the match a draw.

The Politics

Cricket took a stance against apartheid South Africa - for 22 long years they were not allowed to play the game, when arguably some of the ‘bestest’ cricketers possible like Graeme Pollock, Ali Bacher and Barry Richards were punished. Cricket decided that it cant just be a mute spectator to member country politics. Today though cricket has the exact opposite stance - Zimbabwe, one out of ten Test Match playing countries in the world, have a regime that is a humanitarian nightmare. Cricket refuses to intervene even when Robert Mugabe's stooges threw out or led to the emigration of an entire generation of cricketers, many because they were white, some because they had political opposition to the Zanu-PF party. Zimbabwe despiting playing like a bunch of high school kids dont get any censure from the International Cricket Council! Cricket's governing bodies are known for their politics.

Why the love?

Indian sports historian Ramachandra Guha has written a book explaining the origins of the cricket obsession in India, "A Corner of a Foreign Field: The Indian origins of a British Sport". I haven’t read this book yet but the excerpts are quite acceptable. Cricket is the upper middle class sport of the English world - it allows for only the right amount of physical harshness and none of it because of contact violence.

It has gained so much love in India because of our brahminical traditions, whereas it is considered un-Australian if you did not discuss Test cricket during cricket season. Cricket, as cultured as it seems, offers the fan more than an average sport's adrenalin pumping action. The maddening statistics in the game keeps many interested, whereas the wide ranging skills (use of wrists in batting, spin bowling, etc) are another attraction. It displays many of those subtler human qualities that other modern sports are incapable of showing thanks to their obsession with action. Stodgy defence and playing out session after session shows great determination, focus and patience. Though individual and instantaneous brilliance is displayed in cricket, long-term strategy (highlighted by the huge role a team's captain plays in the game) and intelligence (deciding what kind of ball to bowl) is very crucial.

It has a place for the entire range of human beings and unlike other sports, does not impose minimum standards of athleticism on its players. Red-blooded men can choose to be fast bowlers and the smaller men have found comfort as the wicket-keeper in the game. You can be a strategist, a stylist, a skilled artisan or merely stoic and still find your niche in this game.

Look at some of the contemporary greats - Sachin Tendulkar (of India, considered greatest batsman in the world) is 5 and a half feet tall and almost cherubic in manner, yet he terrorises 6+ feet bowlers with bodies resembling trucks. Inzamam-ul-Haq of Pakistan is very fat and looks like he was just removed from bed always, yet he is so sharp and delicate in the way he approaches his game.

The real stand-out feature in cricket though is the sportsmanship. Soccer conflicts are ugly (I like the sport too!). Cricket is like a drama and it has the right morals at the end. It teaches people to take defeat in their stride, and to respect the opposition. It gives chance and nature its fair due (the toss of a coin determines who plays first, whereas the weather decides what kind of players will suceed) but unlike soccer (sorry for the repeated mention) it gives freak chances less of a say in the final result. Weaker teams can win only if they were not weak in that particular game.

The instantaneous pleasure from other sports (often only during the course of play) is very orgasmic. In cricket, the entire action being spread out over days and even over months (sometimes individual matches are irrelevant, it is how the entire series goes that matters) makes the pleasure from cricket less like a shot of drug and more like reading books or making memories.

I concede that every one of these special factors in cricket are present in other sports, albeit in a different manner. But, it is the proportion that makes cricket uniquely interesting. If you have never played the game or enjoyed a good game, I suggest you give it a try. But better have someone who knows stuff with you - it is as complicated as neuro-surgery!

-> Sub-story 1

The Ashes is the name given to a tournament where England and Australia play five matches, each over five days, once every couple of years. The name comes from an incident long time back when someone declared English cricket dead and burnt the bails (cricket equipment) and sent it in an urn to signify the cremation. Hence, the Ashes - incidentally, even today they give the victorious team the urn to take back with them.

This year's Ashes was interesting as the English finally beat the Aussies after nearly 2 decades.

-> Sub-story 2

The India-Australia tussle has increased the commercial value for the game. India, where 70 % of all the sponsorships for the game come from, was a formidable team at home so much so that the Australian juggernaut referred to it as the final frontier. The Aussies lost in an epic tournament in 2001 and India almost beat Australia in Australia a couple of years. But the next time the Australians came to India, they won it not to mention the thrashing they gave us in the World Cup final in 2003.

Invariably these matches end up having high quality action and some Hollywood twist. Hence, they are very popular.